Brittian Howi

Rate Your Attitude, Make It Positive! Ever notice how those that claim someone is negative are usually the most negative people in the world? The reality of most situations is this, in the words of that old saying, when you point a finger at someone, you have FOUR fingers pointing back at yourself. So, that old saying is something to think about the next time you think about calling someone names or accusing someone of something. So, how do you know what people are really all about? How do you get to learn the truth about people? Are you in confusion about deciding who is a friend and who is not? Many times you might see something and you might pause and wonder if they are really a friend. And as a teen, you might not have the life experience to judge things accurately. Once you reach adulthood, you would have the experience you need, and most times, the easy way to figure things out is simply to observe.Yes it is as simple as observation. If you want to figure something out, just step back and really look at the situation. Besides using observation, we, as adults have other keys and other tools to use when trying to figure out people or figure out life. These are some of the keys and tools that you can use in your own life to get the answers to the questions you have recently asked:First, pause, look around, and observe what is really happening. This is a very helpful step in trying to weed out gossipers. If you just stop and look around, you will see what is really happening. But the key here is to look at the present situation, but also look in the most recent past. If you want the truth, then you need the whole story, not just a tidbit of it. (For example, if someone is making accusations or labeling someone or name-calling inside a on online group or real life group, you might find it easy to jump on the bandwagon and to join in on the name-calling. But that would be the ignorant thing to do. If you join in with the name-calling, just because one individual made a nasty remark about someone, and then one or two picked up the ball and ran with it, you are doing yourself a disservice and you might be helping to perpetuate a lie. So, pause, look around, and observe what is really happening. Use your own judgment and do not give in to mob-mentality. Avoid mob-mentality, and avoid judging someone that you do not know. Avoid jumping to conclusions. These are keys and tools that you can use, to participate as an adult in a forum, rather than participating as a child might. A child, in that same situation, might join in with what they think is the popular opinion, and might not even care or wonder what the real truth is. So to react and act as an adult, instead of joining in with the Chicken Littles of the world, stand your ground, and do not join into arguments or discussions that were built on mob-mentality.Stand strong, stand your ground, and be independent when those around you are losing their heads and becoming upset over a rumor that someone started. Rumors and gossip are bad business for everyone. Besides being childish, they are non-productive and serve no purpose but to stroke the ego of the person that begins the rumor. So if you are watching a rumor or gossip being built up, act as an adult and take the mature route of not joining in with the bully or gossip builder. Stand strong and independent and you make your mark as an adult, not as a child who follows the pied-piper's music. And basically, that is what gossip and rumors are - it is all just the pied-piper's music. Staying with the good and not promoting the bad. If you are in a real-life situation or in an online group, vow to yourself that you will stay with the good and not promote the bad. In other words, if you see someone building a rumor or building a gossip story, if you have nothing good to say, then be silent about it. Once a childish person begins a rumor or gossip, it takes only minutes and a few messages for that rumor to gain momentum and in less than one hour that rumor might appear as truth instead of the dirt that it originally started out as. So, see something? Say something good. If you are tempted to add something nasty, or if you are tempted to join in on the name-calling, resist that temptation. Sometimes it helps to remember that God is always with you. So ask yourself, if God is sitting by my side here, would I really say those words or type those words? Only you know the answer to that question.Be mature. Yes, another key and wonderful tool is simply being mature. (Yes, you can have fun, joke and be young at heart and still be mature). The difference in being mature and being childish is that mature individuals keep their focus on what they are here for. So many times in online groups the group loses focus just do to one individual who has a motive to harm another person. The group members see the harm, believe it as truth, and run with the ball. Be different. If you see some nonsense happening in real life or in an online group, be mature. Refuse to join in on the name calling. Refuse to act like the child that the rumor-builders or gossip-mongers are acting like. Stand your ground, be independent, be mature, and focus on what the mission of the group is. Once you focus and remember what you are in the group for, then perhaps it might be easier to stay away from the gossipers and rumor-mongers. Just focus. Just remain positive. Keep out of the childish arguments and you will get good benefit from any group that you join, in real life and in the net. It is usually only in childish circles where someone can blurt out, this kid is nasty. One child, usually the rumor-monger or name-caller, makes the statement to a group of his child friends. Since they are his friends, they immediately believe him. They call this loyalty, or sticking together. However, when that first statement is untrue, it is not loyalty to stick by their friend, but it is gossip building. So this immature child makes the statement to his friends and his friends pick up the ball and run with it. But in this case, they are running with the ball to the wrong end of the field. We have all seen this done at one time or another, the guy picks up the football and runs towards the WRONG zone. He runs the ball right into the opponents score! So that is what happens with gossip-builders, and those teams of friends that follow along blindly helping the gossip builder to carry the ball to the wrong zone. So, be mature. Don't run blindly to the wrong field goal just because a so-called friend of yours has made a nasty statement of some individual. Run with your eyes open, away from the gossip-builder. You will me happier and more successful if you avoid hanging around with insecure individuals who build rumors about people. It's all about being positive. Be positive in your mind, talk, and in your life, and you will bring more positivity into your world. Once you remain positive, you will see how your whole world opens up to you. And one of the ways that you remain positive is by remaining an adult. Stay positive.Those are keys and tools that you can use in your daily life, both in real life and also in chat rooms and in message boards. Ask yourselfhow you can remain positive in your life. Then take those actions which bring smiles into your life; take those actions that give more positive thought and more creative and more productive actions in your days and weeks. Stay and remain positive. That is the key to life.The author of this article has had many works published in the USA. She has traveled extensively throughout the East Coast and through the South while observing people and writing about life and everything that is in it. She invites you to connect with her at her website. 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